'Tis Election Time Again!

Well let me be the first one to wish all Canadians a Merry Elexmas!! Those dumb ass redneck conservatives have ruined what would have been a very quiet Christmas. Although in a way I can't complain because it does make watching my some 4 hours worth of daily news more interesting to watch.

So here is my little guide to Canadian politics for those of you who do not have the esteemed privilege of living in the best country in the world.

The Liberals: okay basically these guys will steal millions in tax payers money to give to some Quebecers just so they can convince the others that live there not to separate. A little disclaimer: I love Quebec in fact I want to go back, they seem to have a few priorities straight, but then again they need to get a few others straightend around!

The Conservatives: these guys scare the shit out of me! I live in the heart of Conservative country and I swear that I am surrounded by idoits. Let me start with Stephen Harper: THE GUY LOOKS LIKE HE WEARS EYE LINER!!!! I am not kidding, if you can access the press conference that he held just after Paul Martin went to the GG's office to dissolve parliament you'll know what I mean. These guys scare me! Not only do they want to bring gay marriage back into the debate, but they have something to hide, it will be interesting to see if they actually publish a platform this time around. Don't be surprised if they make it so that women can't get the birth control pill. Not only that but the right wing christan conservatives back these guys, and those guys scare me too.

The NDP: now I will admit that when I was younger I voted for these guys. Being the socialist/communist that I am, they were my party. Now I am scared of these guys too. I have had two classes with two of their candidates because well they like to recruit them young and well I am sorry but I just don't like them. Not only that but they have no hope in winning because well as most Canadian's know voting NDP is like voting for the Conservatives and remember THEY SCARE ME!

So this pretty much leaves a mish mash, but there is a good alternative my dear Canadians, the trend is slowly spreading from Europe. It's the Greens. Yes I have found my new party. They are the best alternative: "none of the above." They have yet to get involved in the is nasty mess, and quite frankly I like that.

I forgot to mention the Marijuana Party of Canada. I wish that there was a candidate in my riding but unfortunately there isn't. I am sure that those in B.C., Ontario, and Quebec will vote for me.

I purposely left out the Bloc Quebecois, mostly because I don't live in Quebec. They want to separate, why I don't know, they seem to have their own way of running things, and well I am sure that they don't mind all that tax money that they get too.

I will add to this in times to come because Stephen Harper is sure to stick his foot in his mouth on more than one occasion within the next 8 weeks. So far he thinks that Canada is a great country but he doesn't love it as much as Paul Martin does. And as for Gilles Duceppe ( yeah when you decide that you want to stay apart of Canada I will learn how to spell your name!) we should have a Canada vs. Quebec hockey game to determine if Quebec should separate: if Canada wins you stay, if Quebec wins you leave us the hell alone, and if there is a tie, let there be a good old brawl to determine the winner!


LET THE GAMES BEGIN!