It's been some time.

I know I have no excuse... maybe I do!

I have had literally no motivation to write on here for the last 6 some odd months. As much as I would love to be able to talk about my work, because it is facinating, seeing the darker side of human nature and trying to make some sense out of it for the common good. In reality I can't talk about my work on here. I would probably fuck it up and say something that I shouldn't say and get my ass canned, I have done well for myself, despite having the upbringing that I have had, I don't want to lose what I've got...

So for the last little while I have wanted to add something to my blog. I would have really liked to post on the recent Canadian election as I have done in the past, however, it's a conflict of interest when you're working for the government. But I will say this... I don't agree with Stephen Harper on the best of days, however with him I've got job security, and in reality that is all I could ever hope for!!

I haven't talked about some personal stuff... it's more of a security thing with me. Again with the business that I am in, I've gotta becareful of what is posted.

However it is because of my work the wheels have been turning, mostly now because of the dark morning drives to work, when I am trying to wake my mind up so by the time I get to work I am ready and aware. Since moving into our new house last year, I've discovered a real gem of a radio station out of Calgary, X92.9. This is the stuff I grew up with, this is the stuff that I mostly identify with. Unfortunately at work, I can't get it... it's the outer cusp of the radio signal... which sucks, although it's made me revisit my CD collection (which I will be getting to, eventually, yeah yeah I am blathering, but this is nice...)anyways, recently there's been a contest to go see Matt Good in Banff. FUCK YEAH!!! Despite my best efforts to try and win tickets I failed disasterously (my mobility bill is going to suck ass!). Anyways they were referencing Hospital Music, his most recent new stuff (with exception to the live album). I have to be honest, I bought it, listened to the first few songs that I knew, and pretty much put it on the shelf... which is what I did with Avalanche too. Then I heard part of the story behind the album (i've always been the type to read the liner notes). Wow, it explains so much. Mostly why I enjoy Matt Good's music so much, and probably why I relate to it so much. I write my best reports at work when I've got one of his CD's going. My recommendation, if you don't know the story behind the CD, Google it. I did it with Hospital Music.

I have always fought with deamons... it's part of my makeup. But reading Matt Good's blog and the explanation of the run up to Hospital Music. I really wonder about myself. Now mind you, I haven't had to go through the hell that Matt Good did. And reality is no one should ever have to go through that. I am glad he's got the help.

It really bugs me that I let this sit on the shelf for nearly a year now... what the fuck was I thinking... but then again I am really really bad for this.

Music has always been my connection to my soul because really for the most part me and my soul are two different entities, just like home and work are. I usually get so caught up with the outside (not that I am self absorbed, hello have you looked at my ass lately??) that I rarely take the inside. I have gotten so used to not talking about myself (again that's work) that the connection that I had in my angsty teenage years has been connected by a fine thread. It's good to be listening to music again!!